Story from a recovering drama queen (that would be me!)

My hands are so frozen I can barely type this post! (ok...maybe there's still a little drama in me!) My digits are struggling after a bit of an adventurous recent experience that made me realize, "OMG...I am like way less dramatic than I used to be!"

I had to write this after reporting to my husband that I had made it home safely in a text in which I signed off "a little bit o drama for the recovering drama queen." I loved that and I grabbed my laptop. So, what was the situation? I'm not sure that it's that important, but I will tell you any way.

I decided to do some late night Christmas shopping and had to take my husband's classic Mercedes since he had my car. When I left my house, I had to enter the car through the passenger's side door bc I couldn't get the driver's side door to open. After browsing TJ Maxx and getting minimal Christmas shopping done, I was ready to go home. This time, I was met with two frozen handles (and it's only a 2 door car!)

I found the situation comical and intriguing while my body was still warm from all the shopping. I felt pretty grounded and centered and thought, "Worst case scenario, I'll walk home or take a cab." I called my husband, who is the calmest person I know (one of the reasons I love him so much!) and he told me to get hot water from the coffee shop to pour on the door. I kept trying to say things like, "Well, if that doesn't work, then I'll just walk or call a cab." The thoughts in my head began to get toxic and then I quickly reminded myself of what a waste of time that was. After a little bit of negative "what-if-ing" in my head, I took his advice. I got the hot water, poured it down the seam of the door and it opened right up (two men who were all cozy in the car in front of me had fun watching all of this take place!)

I don't want to go into the antics of what my old self would have done, but let's just say I probably would have bitched and fussed on the phone to my husband, my mom and my best friend and taken a cab. I probably would have left the scene without even trying! And I certainly would have let my husband know that he would never be taking my car again!

I am proud to say that I truly feel I have reduced the amount of drama I allow into my life. When I occasionally feel the drama queen getting riled up, I just stop to notice her. Somehow just the awareness of her presence diminishes her power. As I move forward on this journey of less drama, I remember that I am the creator of my own experience and that any situation I am in, I have created for myself. Though that really frustrates the drama queen, I empowers me to be more calm, centered, clear and connected. And in the end, at least those situations make for an interesting story!

Create the Vision

Last week I had my biggest speaking engagement to date...450 people! I made sure to get some pictures of the big event because I know that as I move forward, it is important for me to have an image of what I want to experience. Creating a vision, whether you have a real picture or an imagined one, is essential in bringing something new into your life. You absolutely most see yourself being, doing and having what you want before it will come to pass. My intention is to imagine myself as speaking to audiences this big or bigger as I move forward.

Lead with Intention

I recently did a speaking event for the Junior League of Raleigh about leadership. It was a topic I had never spoken on, but one that really inspired me. I titled the speech "Lead with Intention" because I based it on many of the principals I talk about in my book "Live with Intention." Here are what I am now calling the 4 A's of Leaders that Lead with Intention:

1. Leaders that Lead with Intention are AWARE!
They know when to put on the brakes and assess what's working and not working in their organization. They know when to let go of the old and make room for the new.

2. Leaders that Lead with Intention are APPRECIATIVE!
They spend their time focusing on the good in their organization and authentically praising the people around them. As they appreciate all of the positives, they get more positives to appreciate!

3. Leaders that Lead with Intention are ALLOWING!
By that I mean they allow themselves to see the unseen, to think big and to see a clear vision for the future. They inspire others by talking about their intentions and create a team that is working toward a common cause. As Einstein said, "Imagination is more important than knowledge!"

4. Leaders that Lead with Intention are AUTHENTIC!
They reveal their weaknesses and are honest about where they are in the here and now, not as an excuse for why they aren't where they want to be, but as a definition of where they are starting from. They share their successes and their shortcomings in a way that is empowering and brings the team together.

Leading with intention and living with intention are one in the same because they both focus on creating a joyful, deliberate life experience that benefits all involved.

Be the change

I just hung a bumber sticker in my classroom that says "We must be the change we wish to see in the world" (a quote by Gandi). And though I've read that quote many times before, I just had a realization about the impact really understanding that quote could have on the economic status of our country.

We must be what we want to see. That means that in order to bring about more abundance, we must be abundant. And being abundant doesn't necessarily mean that we have to have lots of money in our bank account. What it means is that we must feel abundant in at least some of the areas of our life to bring about an economic shift.

Do you have good health or happy relationships? Do you have food and shelter? Do you have an open heart and mind? Do you feel abundant in at least one area of your life?

Practice the power of appreciation to attract abundance into your life. Look around you and focus on the good. Look at the positive aspects of situations. As you do this, you will draw to you more things to be appreciative of.

Try it for a day, a week, a month. It is an addictive and transformative process. Imagine how powerful it would be if everyone would practice appreciation? I believe it truly would shift us out of this space of lack and scarcity.

Be the change!

It's the law!

This weekend I was once again powerfully reminded of the law of attraction. On Saturday, after hearing the Neil Young song "One of These Days" I became a little sad about how I had not connected with my girlfriends in awhile and began to shed a few tears, partly in sadness and partly in gratitude. I began to ponder calling some of them and planning a girls night out. That evening, Chris and I rented Sex and The City The Movie (yes, he actually watched a chick flick with me!) and I cried at several points in the movie, once again missing the deep connection of girlfriends. On Sunday I finished filling in my new intentions in my book, one of which was to have a deep connection with friends and to spend more time enjoying their company. Later that afternoon, the phone rang. It was one of my all time best friends who I had been thinking about during the last 48 hours. We had an awesome conversation and re-connected. It was wonderful to talk with her, emote with her and in the end, remember that whatever vibration we set up through our thoughts attracts to us the essence of what we think about. Too cool!

Walking a fine line....

Not too long ago a good friend of mine reminded me that there is a fine line between creating what we want for ourselves through positive thoughts and actions and denying the truth of what's really going on. I recently had the experience of being totally honest about where I was in my life and quickly, through a-ha moment after a-ha moment, realized that I was in denial.

When we are in denial our conscious selves, our "head" selves are convinced that everything is OK but our inner selves, our "heart" selves know better. Therefore when we are in a state of denial we attract to us whatever we are denying.

In my case, I was doing my abundance affirmations, tithing on my income and listening to everything I could about abundance, which is wonderful, but at the same time I was having a hard time paying the bills. Though it's certainly possible to go from having very little to creating alot, it didn't work for me. My inner self was throwing up bullship flags all over the place.

Interestingly enough, after I chose to go back to work full time to create a steady income with benefits etc, my feeling place totally shifted and the money started flowing. I haven't even gotten my first paycheck and I already feel a huge inner knowing that all is well for me financially (regardless of what's going on in the economy). I have had some amazing speaking opportunities come my way and have sold more books this month than during any other month since my book came out.

Life is good and I know that as long as I continue to focus on the good (without being in denial) that the goodness that is life (and the money!) will continue to flow.

Race Day Tomorrow!

Tomorrow is a big day for me. I am running my first half marathon! It's going to be an exciting event because I'm running with an amazing team of ladies who have spent the last several months not only training to run 13.1 miles, but also raising money for an organization called Girls on The Run. We are geared up and ready to go! Wish us luck! I'll keep you posted!

Fall = A Time of Positive Change

After a week at the beach last week soaking up the last rays of the summer sun (see photo), I am back in the Blue Ridge Mountains where the air feels like fall. Leaves are coming off the trees and the evening and morning temperatures are oh so pleasant. I love this time of year. It reminds me of so many wonderful things: going back to school, meeting my husband, my wedding in Las Vegas (our 2 year anniversary is Sept. 16th). All of my positive fall memories and the turning of the leaves indicate that for me fall is a time of transition, a time of change. And once again this fall brings about a positive transition for me.

After being ill with a bronchial infection for 5 days, having a couple of emotional breakthroughs (I no longer call them breakdowns!) and going on a week's vacation, I made an important decision: to go back to the classroom after a year of working on my career as a speaker and author. The opportunity presented itself and though it was not 100% opportune (there's a long commute involved) I felt compelled to act on it.

I have wrestled with the resistance and am now getting excited about working with young people again (I'll be teaching high school Spanish!). Somehow this all seems like a divine gift that I am supposed to receive. I am feeling joyful about a steady paycheck and know that my speaking career and book sales will benefit from my less-stressed attitude about making money. In fact, a friend recently told me that for some people going back to work is the best way to make their business successful.

So for me this fall is once again about positive change. As I go back to the classroom and continue to promote myself as a speaker and author, I feel appreciative for all the gifts in my life and all the opportunities that this time of year brings. I hope your fall is wonder-full too!

E-motion...Energy In Motion

I had heard several times that our emotions are nothing more than energy in motion in our bodies. And though that made a lot of sense to me before, I really get it now! After a 7 mile run on Sunday I had a total meltdown. I cried until my eyes were red and puffy. I vented some emotional issues that have been holding me back and some deep rooted beliefs and concerns about money (one of the most emotionally charged issues we have!). What an experience!

Those emotions were lodged inside of me and came rushing out when I put my body in motion. And the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. In the normal routine of life, we have emotions rise up and instead of addressing them we usually stuff them away in the corner of our minds (we are especially good at that in the South!). And the more we stuff, the more accumulation occurs in our minds. An emotional block is created and though we want to not feel the emotion, it is still there. All it takes is some motion to release that energy. And thank goodness that release is possible! Emotional blocks only hinder our path to consciousness and a full, rich life.

Interestingly enough, the day after I released that emotional block, an income-earning opportunity that I never expecting came my way. I know that was made possible in part because I had made room for something new when I cleared out my blocked energy.

If you feel that you have an emotional block, get on the move and exercise regularly. I can't say the emotional breakdown was fun, but it was very rewarding. I plan to stay in motion with my running and continue to feel whatever emotions arise as a result!

Where Do Your Feel Most Alive?

This is a recent picture of me giving a presentation...

This is the place I feel most alive!

And this is the place I have felt most alive all of my life!

From speech contests, to cheerleading, to leadership roles in student council, to teaching middle school and community college to following my dream to become a professional speaker. To me, there is nothing like being in front of a crowd. There is an exchange of energy that occurs that makes everyone feel uplifted and included.

Where do you feel most alive?

Giving to Receive

I have always heard that we are to give without expecting anything in return. And that worked for me until last week when I read Catherine Ponder's book Secret to Unlimited Prosperity. She says that we should give and expect to receive abundantly in return.

Though that is the opposite of what I have believed my whole life, I now know that it is truth and affirm that I am open to receive. So many times we block the manifestation of what we want because we are unwilling to receive it. We must open ourselves up to receive all that the universe is sending our way and as we give we must affirm that we will receive back multiplied abundantly that which we give out.

Do you need more money in your life? Give money! Do you want more love? Give love! Do you want more time to do what you love? Give your time. Give out what you wish to receive and expect it to come back to you multiplied abundantly.

Being on the receiving end of inspiration!

Today I had the pleasure of seeing the founder of a wonderful, empowering non-profit organization called Girls On The Run. Her name is Molly Barker and her story is VERY inspiring. Since I am a speaker, many times I am the one holding the mic and empowering and inspiring the audience, but today I was humbled by one of the most inspiring speakers I've ever seen. She had me laughing and crying at the same time and spoke straight from her heart to mine. She is truly an example of someone who has turned her passion and purpose into a reality that touches the lives of thousands of young women every year. Go to www.girlsontherun.org to learn more.
Not only did her speech inspire and uplift me, it got me thinking about how awesome it is to be on the receiving end of inspiration. When we're inspired, a spark is ignited inside of us. When we are inspired we re-member who we are! When we are inspired we feel joy and hope. When we are inspired we feel powerful and ready to go after our dreams!
Inspiration can come from so many experiences. I encourage you to seek inspiration in your life. Whether it be a friend who tells you just what you need to hear, a gorgeous bloom in your flower pot that makes you say "wow!" or the laughter of a child feel the inspiration and be grateful for it. Fill yourself up with it and give it away to someone else so that they can be on the receiving end of inspiration!

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Re-Membering my Winning Attitude

When I was a young child, probably around 8 or 9, I would play BINGO with my family once a month at our country club. It was a wonderful family event where my mom, dad, sister and I could all play on an equal playing field. One night, I just knew I was going to win the jackpot, the final game where the payout was $300! The excitement built as I got closer and closer and then my number was called! I WON! I remember crying I was so happy! And everyone laughed and carried on about how a 3rd grader won the jackpot! Boy was I proud!

My winning just continued from there. The incident created in me a winning attitude that allowed me to keep winning! I won the jackpot BINGO game several more times and of course by then, had the support of other people saying "You always WIN!" I went on to win all kinds of things! I remember one time winning a set of luggage from a mail in contest. I went after any and all opportunities to win, even if they seemed impossible or scam-like.

In fact, looking back I just expected to win everything from speech and poster contests to soccer games and positions as high school class officer and yearbook editor. Most of the time I came out on top. But sometimes I did not!

So what shifted in me over all these years? Why today do I stop myself from winning before I even start? Why don't I buy lottery tickets and send in for mail in contests? Why do I listen to that little voice in my head that says "You don't have a chance in hell!" Somewhere along the way I began to focus my attention on the few times when I didn't come out on top and the more I did that, the less I won.

This whole blog was prompted by me receiving a piece of "junk mail" and actually opening it. Normally, I would have just recycled it and moved on, but for some reason this one particular piece was calling out to me. It was a flyer with a key on it from a car dealership. My interest was sparked because we are looking for a new car. AND because it said "Someone in this area has the lucky key!" OOOOHHHH!!! The old voice came up again saying "This is just a scam. They're just trying to get me to their lot to force me into a car." And then I realized what I had just said and decided to turn it around! I said to myself "I used to ALWAYS win!" and "I'm ready to win again!"

Today I will go to the car lot and see what happens! If I WIN...boy won't that make for an interesting story! And if I don't I will at least recognize that I didn't check myself out before going for it.

Today I remember that I can't win if I don't try! Today I remember that I'll see it when I believe it!

Make time to PLAY every day!

People, places, things and experiences keep reminding me to make more time to play. Do you need to make more time to play? Have you lost touch with your fun side? Are you having fun in some way, shape or form every day?
Make time to P.L.A.Y. every day!

PARTICIPATE fully in life!
Give 100% of your energy to the NOW! Let go of the past, have faith that everything will work out in your favor in the future and BE in the now. Be engaged in the conversations that you have today! Smile at every one you meet. Feel the oxygen filling your lungs and every cell of your being. Feel the aliveness and joy in your heart!

LOVE whatever you're doing NOW!
Even if you're not doing exactly what you want to be doing right now, shift your perspective and have fun with it. Make the activity a game. Make a bet with yourself. See work as a Wonderful Opportunity for Revolutionary Kindness. Smile and laugh often.

ALLOW yourself to have fun!
Be playful! Tell a joke! Read the comics in the newspaper! Paint your toenails. Sing your favorite song out loud! Roll the windows down. Treat yourself to a latte. When others invite you to play, say YES!

whY NOT? Do something you've never done before! Be daring and risky. Step out of your comfort zone, even if it's just for 5 minutes. Talk to someone you would usually never speak to. Open your stance and your heart to others. Be warm and friendly. Show you care. WHY NOT live as boldly as you possibly can!?

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What do you want?

I recently took this photo in Charleston, SC in one of the old graveyards. To me, it is a reminder that you truly can intend and receive whatever it is you want in life. Do you know the number one reason why people don't get what they want in life? Because they don't know what they want! The first step to creating your life, your way is deciding what you want. It may help to fold a piece of paper in half long ways and write on the left hand side the things that you don't want in your life. Then go back on the right hand side and write the opposite. These are your intentions. When you look at them, you may think "there's no way these things can happen" or "it's going to take a lot of work to make this all happen." That's nothing more than your slimy mind trying to stop you. Keep reading your intentions (even if they sound like lies!) and eventually you will believe them. And then you will know that they can't not happen! Get clear about what you want and "thy will be done!"

Failing Forward

Failure is something that I really don't buy into because I believe that the universe is in perfect order and that everything happens for a reason. That doesn't mean however, that I'm not sometimes temporarily upset by defeat.

One of my favorite Napoleon Hill quotes says, "Every failure brings with it the seed of an equivalent success." I love that quote and thought of it the other day when I won third place out of three at a Toastmasters speech contest. I lost! For whatever reason, I was not meant to advance in that competition and though it is one of my dreams to win the International Speech contest, 2008 is not the year. I'm not even going to speculate why because that is none of my business. I trust that the universal mind knows what's best for me and I move on.

Speaking of failure, I also heard recently that there are only two occasions when someone fails: before getting started or right before becoming successful! Because I've already started on my faithful journey to live the life of my dreams, I'm going to view each "failure" as getting me one step closer to my success. And as Napoleon Hill says, I am going to trust that in each failure there is a seed of an equivalent success! Failing forward is the only way to stay on your feet!

Watching my dream unfold..

Wow! I can't believe how long it's been since I've written a blog! A whole month! I've been really busy and haven't been making the time to write...AND intend to be better about that. The last month has been really exciting for me. I truly am watching my dream unfold. I realize that more as I look back on all the wonderful things that I've done and all the cool people I've met along the way.

If you've looked at my Upcoming Events page on my website you know that I've been making a big media push and have appeared on several radio shows and even made my first TV appearance. It's so cool and so much fun. And now as I look back on it I realize that it is all my creation! I titled March "Publicity" month and April is "Publicity + Profits," and what do you know!

It has been amazing to put the pieces of everything I've learned together to truly create my reality. And though everything isn't exactly the way I want it, I am watching my dreams become a reality.

Why don't you try it? Have a theme for the month and see what happens. One of my friends said her theme for April was "April showers me with money!" That's a good one! Think about something that you would like to see manifest this month and name it to claim it!

Resisting Phone Calls...Breakthrough!

Yesterday I started the process of calling radio stations to get interviews about my book Live with Intention. I ordered a system from Joe Sabbah that included everything I needed to get started: an instruction book, audio CD and a list of 1000 radio shows, their contact people and phone numbers. I got my script together (which he laid out for me in the book) and called the first station on the list. I actually got through to the host/producer (which is quite miraculous) and read off my script (I'm sure it sounded a little staged!). Then she said "My demographic is 18-24 year old males and we talk about sex and NASCAR." Not quite the fit for my book!!!

This conversation made me realize that I needed to research the stations/shows before blindly calling them and come up with a system to keep track of calls made, follow up and shows booked. So after a bit of resistance and realizing that the whole thing was going to be a little more challenging that I thought, I got stuck for a bit, not really wanting to make any more calls. Then I did some research, resisted a little more, built up my confidence and made the next call. And what do you know? Within 2 minutes I had booked my first interview! All that anxiety and worry for nothing! So what did I learn from the experience? Well, first of all, I am not crazy about making phone calls. But more importantly I can do it and do it successfully. It may require a little more work than I anticipated, but it's definitely worth it and in alignment with what I'm about! My goal is to help millions of people to live with intention, passion and purpose and my book is the perfect tool to get them going in that direction, so sharing my book nationally on radio shows is a great way to fulfill that mission.

When you're faced with a similar situation where you're feeling anxious or resistant about doing something, remember your overall purpose for doing it and know that you can be successful. Overcoming that resistance and busting through that terror barrier will cause a breakthrough and a shift in your thinking.

The Millennials Conference

Wow! It's hard to believe that it's been a week since I was in Toronto at the Millennials conference and that I'm just not writing about it! It was an amazing experience and I had several immediate take-aways as well as some that are still brewing in my mind.

The first take-away is: There is some discretion about the bottom line birth year of the Millennial generation. I knew this before attending the event because each time I researched Millennials I would get a different span of dates. A psychology professor from Western University brought the issue up in the first presentation of the day. He showed a chart that outlined Baby Boomers, Generation X and Millennials. They all had definitive starting and ending dates. BUT between 1972 and 1982 there was a big gap. Since I was born between those years, I was curious as to which generation I was in so I approached the professor with my question. He said that the consensus is that people born between 1972 and 1982 either identify with Generation X or Millennials. I thought that was fascinating and true! And I'm definitely a Millennial.

The next take-away is: Consumer Marketers are completely stumped about how to capture Millennials as their loyal customers. They have some ideas as to what they need to do, but overall, they are mind-boggled!! I think that is pretty cool. Companies are having to experiment with different strategies to see what works and what doesn't. Sometimes the fail miserably and sometimes they become the next cool company.

The next take-away is: Millennials don't think you're cool just because you put up a MySpace and Facebook page. It seems as though many companies think that if they simply enter the world of Millennials that they will automatically capture them as consumers....WRONG! They will actually see right through your strategy and think you are very un-cool. Don't do this!!

My final take-away for right now is: Millennials don't know that they are Millennials!!! Most of them are unaware that they have been labeled as a generation, and for the most part, they don't like to be labeled at all. Each Millennial is just being his or herself in his or her world. The best way to work with or market to a Millennial is to be real, open-minded and optimistic.

The fleeting present moment

I am reading Eckhart Tolle's book A New Earth and being reminded once again of the importance of living in the present moment. It truly is all that we have. Most people spend their present moments thinking about the past or worrying about the future. But all the miracles of life are happening right now. Being in the present moment correlates with being grateful. And we all understand that in order to live our best life and to create what we want for ourselves that we must appreciate where we are and what we have right here and now. Even if you're not at your best for whatever reason, being aware of how you feel in the moment brings your awareness to the present. True happiness is remembering the essence of who you are and enjoying every precious moment. Here is a great quote from the book: "The joy of Being, which is the only true happiness, cannot come to you through any form, possession, achievement, person or event--through anything that happens. That joy cannot come to you--ever. It emanates from the formless dimension within you, from consciousness itself and thus is one with who you are." Wow! Remember that the next time your thoughts remove you from the present.

Getting Back to Gratitude

How could I forget! I dedicated a whole section in my book to it! Well, instead of beating myself up for not remembering to be grateful, I'm going to be grateful that I was gently reminded to do so again. I read a really great book this weekend called "Happy For No Reason" by Marci Shimoff. It is remarkable and I highly recommend you read it. She did extensive research on happy people and one of the things that happy people do is express gratitude regularly. It dawned on me in reading the book that I was not being a very grateful soul, which explains why I've felt muddled and hostile of late. I feel like letting go of gratitude is the main reason why I'm not seeing what I want in my life. Marci reminded me that nobody has a perfect life with perfect circumstances, but we all have the ability to get back to gratitude and find the lesson even in the not-so-pleasant things in our lives. I'm going to start my day out by writing down 5 things I am grateful for and I'll report back as to how that's affected my overall happiness.

Millennials: "The Big-Dreaming Generation!"

I often ask myself, "Where did I get my big-dreaming attitude?" Is it all the training I've had in self-development or is it part of my generational package? Though it's probably a combination of the two, many cultural factors have made Millennials big dreamers. Here are a few:

1. We got awards just for participating!
No matter what the event, from soccer games to speech contests to swim meets, our competitive, multi-tasking generation was always given the Golden Star just for showing up! My favorite award of all: Honorable Mention! I remember getting the Honorable Mention award for "not quite making the conference soccer team" when I was a senior in high school. Though I accepted the award gracefully, the over-acknowledgement was quite transparent even at the time!
2. We were coddled and pampered and spoiled by our parents!
This one is hard for me to admit because my parents weren't overtly schmitten by my sister and I, but I have to say, life was pretty good for us. My mom tried to be "hard" on us, passing on the lessons she learned from her Depression Era parents, and though she was s strict disciplinarian, we usually got our way. One memory that really stands out for me is getting presents on my sister's birthday! I now find that completely hilarious! My mom told me just the other day that it was a tradition started by my grandmothers that she wasn't particularly crazy about. She played along though and up until I was 18, I got presents for mine and my sister's birthdays!
3. We rarely heard the word "No!"
My mom and I have talked about this one several times. I can't figure out if I didn't hear "no" because I knew when and when not to ask or if my parents really weren't nay-sayers. I got guilt- tripped every once in awhile for 'wanting, needing and having to have' all the time, but I rarely heard the word "no." When I wanted some new clothes or a new gadget, the answer was yes. When I needed to be taxied to one of a million extracurricular activities the answer was yes! When I wanted to go on the high school trip to Greece, the answer was yes. When I wanted to study abroad for a year in college, the answer was yes. My parents always found a way to make things happen for me. Who knows the struggles they faced in the process, but that "yes" attitude certainly helped create my "I can do it" mentality!
4. We grew up in a very child-centered era
No other generation had ever had so much attention! We grew up with children's movies, children's music, children's magazines, children's snacks, children's medicine, children's furniture, children's televisions. You name it! The children's market ballooned when I was a kid. We became the center of attention not only in our own homes and schools but also in the media. Stories about children like Jon Bennet Ramsey and Elian Gonzalez overpowered the news and the hearts of Americans for weeks upon weeks.
5. We love the challenge of thinking, dreaming and acting big! Because we are so tech-savvy, fast-paced and impatient, the worst thing we can be is bored! In fact, if we aren't challenged, we check out! Bye-bye! Thinking, dreaming and acting big creates the high level of challenge that keeps us going. Don't get me wrong, sometimes we get in over our heads and have to take a step back, but that's part of our generational karma and the lesson we have to learn in our pursuit to take on the world with our lively ideals.

Get ready because we aren't going anywhere! By 2010 the Millennials will outnumber the Boomers as the largest American population. Not only will our big-dreaming impact our lives as Gen Y, but yours as well. Dream on!!

Mail, the Wrong Way to Market to Millennials

Are you and/or your company sending out mass mailings to Millennials (people between 18 and 30) hoping for our business? If so, stop the printing and the stamp licking because you're wasting your time (and ours!). Ouch!

As I sorted through a pile of mail today I remembered a brief conversation I had with my mother-in-law last week. She told me she found out about a financial service from a mailer she received which prompted me to ask her, "Do you actually open all the mail you get?" She replied as if completely shocked by my question, "I open everything that gets put in my mailbox." Hummmm...I thought. Very interesting and very opposite of me and my generation. Of the numerous pieces of mail I receive each day, I open maybe 2 pieces (but mostly just so they'll fit in my shredder!). This got me thinking about the millennial generation and why we don't like mail. I have come up with several reasons:

1. It's not personal enough. Unless it's a note from a friend (doubtful because they prefer texting or myspace messages) or a card from grandma containing potential cash, we're not interested or intrigued (or tricked) by all of those mailers that claim to be personal. I especially love the ones that say things like "Mrs. Cates we have a special offer just for you!" in press-printed cursive writing.
2. It makes my recycling bin overflow! And that's not really the big deal, the big deal is the amount of mail people are NOT recycling that is making our landfills overflow.
3. My cheap shredder won't cut it! I bought the cheapest shredder Office Depot had and have already killed it with all of my mail shredding. I didn't have the patience to stick one pice of paper in at a time, so I often jammed it up pretty good. Looks like I'm going to have to save up for a super-dooper, high dollar shredder.
3. It's time consuming!In the time it takes to sort through and shred my mail I could have sent two text messages, ordered a latte at Starbucks or reorganized my desk drawer. And mail sorting is not conducive to multi-tasking either because it takes both hands. I'm going to have to work on that one!
4. We have enough credit cardsNinety nine percent of the mail I get is for another credit card and believe me, Millennials have enough of those already! Did you know that we have on average six credit cards? We don't need to get into this now because I can see the hair standing up on the back of your neck. Our generation gets bashed enough, so I'll move on.
5. Where's the free stuff? I'm not talking about coupons for 20% off or a special 2-for-1 deal, I'm talking about something FREE!! I recently got a mailer from a local grocery store offering a free book for stopping in! Now that's what I'm talking about! Those mailers do not get shredded! We millennials LOVE free stuff. But only cool free stuff (doesn't everyone?)

So here's the message plain and simple: if you're targeting Boomers and Xers alike, mailers will probably work. If you want to reach my generation, opt for free stuff via mail or a website and Google optimization!!

Any commitment you make is really with yourself!

I learned a valuable lesson this week about commitment after a coaching client of mine decided to now follow through with the coaching program we were working through. He called me and said that he didn't have his accountability items for the week completed and was overwhelmed with the whole process. Instead of being a good coach and reminding him of his commitment, I only thought of myself and the rest of the money that he owed me that I wouldn't be receiving! Then I asked two fellow coaches to coach me a bit on my reaction and the situation as a whole. What they helped me discover was that not only had my client not followed through with his commitment, but I had not followed through with mine. If I was truly in it to help my client reach his goals and hold him accountable for the necessary action steps, then I wasn't holding up to my end of the deal either! So I called my client back and let him know that I was committed to his success, even if that meant not being his coach. He was so grateful that I called back!

Think about the word commitment and what it means to you. I just looked up some definitions of online and found one that really struck me...

COMMITMENT: the trait of sincere and steadfast fixity of purpose

WOW!

Think about the commitments you make and if they are really worth your time and energy. Are they in alignment with your overall purpose and goals? If not, that's OK! Learn to say "no." My client said that he felt that he often "over-committed" himself. Do you feel that you do the same thing?

Remember the most important thing is that any commitment you make is really with yourself. When you don't follow through with your commitments, you send a powerful message out into the universe and into your subconscious mind. Continuously not keeping your commitments will lead you to lose faith in yourself and confidence in your abilities.

The next time you are decided whether or not to make, keep or drop a commitment, repeat to yourself "Any commitment I make is really with myself" and then make your decision!

Rise and Shine!

This week has been especially busy and productive for me! I had my first teleseminar, got my book off to press, attended at least 5 teleconferences, updated my website, attended networking events and so much more. I have accomplished many wonderful things, one of which has been especially helpful: getting up every morning at 6:15. Until this week, unless I had an early morning commitment, I would sometimes stay in bed until 8:00. By the time I got my coffee made and checked my email, it would be 9:00. Now that I'm getting up earlier, I find that I have plenty of time to check my email, post blogs, update my website and do many other "behind the scenes" tasks before most people are even awake! I remember when I was a child my dad would go to work at like 5:30 in the morning to take care of things before he had any interruptions. Now I understand why. You should try it to, especially if you work for yourself. Get out of bed at least one hour earlier and see how much more you get done for the day!

"Live with Intention" finally goes to press!!

After several months of editing, re-writing, changing the title, reviewing proofs etc, my book finally goes to press today! That means that in two weeks or less I will be holding the first copies of my book in my hands!! If you don't know about my book, go to my website www.adaircates.com for a brief description and more information.

Ready, Fire, AIM -- Finding my Target Audience Through Action

Ready, Fire, AIM is one of my favorite motivational phrases and the motto of my latest success-- defining my target audience (it's also the title of one of my husband's songs! www.chriscates.net).
Here is a brief history of my experience:
After discovering that I wanted to inspire and empower others to live with intention, passion and purpose, I quit my community college professorship in May 2007 and spent the rest of the year "firing" (I think I skipped the "ready" part of the equation). I joined Toastmasters, the Chamber of Commerce, attended two trainings, wrote a book, created a website, made a My Space page, put videos on You Tube, led some Mastermind groups, wrote a Mastermind group workbook, coached a few clients...phew! I was busy!! Lots of firing and seed planting with little avail in terms of making money.
The aiming part of the equation came along in bits and pieces all along but was solidified when I began working through the book Get Clients Now! by CJ Hayden (which I HIGHLY recommend!). The basis of the whole book, which was written for professionals, consultants and coaches with service-based businesses, is that people focus on too many steps in the marketing cycle (filling the pipeline, following up, giving presentations and closing sales) at once. I have to admit, I didn't even know what the marketing cycle was!!! The book guides you to focus on one stage of the marketing cycle for 28 days straight and to follow an accompanying action sheet. I chose the filling the pipeline stage of the cycle and chose as one of my "success ingredients" Market Niche Description. The book guided me to answer a series of questions including: Who needs your service the most? and What sort of people do you enjoy spending time with?
To answer these and other questions, I went back to some information I had received from my aunt and my mother concerning "millennials" or people of "Generation Y." I watched a clip from a 60 minutes program and was completely fascinated! Here is some basic information about this generation of young people: we were born between 1976 and 2000, we are very tech-savvy, we are more concerned with life than work, we prefer to work in teams, we embrace diversity, we are excellent multi-taskers, we own IPODs, cell phones and computers and use them ALL the time, and we love to be challenged and get bored with mundane tasks.
After relating to all of those qualities and more, I decided that millennials (and their employers, parents and teachers!) would be the perfect audience for my speaking and coaching services and that my book Live with Intention now also had a great target audience. If you want to learn more about this population and their needs check out my website www.adaircates.com for a definition and free quiz!
I've always heard that you "get rich in a niche" so I am happy to have decided on my target audience through my Ready, Fire Aim methodology. I've found my niche and am I'm ready to get rich (btw, another characteristic of millennials is their desire to be rich overnight!) I am looking forward to helping millennials live with intention, passion and purpose!!